Posted on | January 18, 2013 | 5 Comments
This blog is getting a bit dull recently, eh? If I’ve remembered to update it I’m writing about music you probably don’t care for. Well, consider it your lucky day because twice this week I’ve heard the topic of people with disabilities and escorts being discussed in the mainstream and that is enough for me to write a blog on it.
As a Guardian reader I am shocked by reading how much hostility fellow lefties have for the idea of someone with a disability bypassing buying countless drinks and meals-out and putting the cash straight towards a bit of rumpy-pumpy. “It’s wrong” and “It’s immoral” they cry, but yet they say little about the man shedding his pay-load on alcohol to give to a random just-legal in a nightclub so her senses may get weak enough for him to appear slightly less than repulsive.
One of the troubles with this whole area of ‘business’ is due to the fact is hasn’t been legalised [although the ‘paying for dates and companionship’ loophole adequately covers it] it is seen as taboo and no-one wants to talk about it. The truth is it isn’t all abusive pimps and poverty-stricken abused immigrants forced into the trade against their will; there are some very well-to-do women who enter the trade and become self-employed through choice. Some are so above-board they put the cash in a special box for the taxman before commencing with the proceedings (not saying how I know this!), therefore to say it’s all ‘illegal’ and ‘immoral’ is unfounded.
And the ‘paying for dates and companionship’ loophole is actually more of an accuracy than it seems, sometimes we just need someone there with open-arms and to make us feel ok without the rationality a friend would apply, and this is all part of the service with certain workers. Perhaps it is a bit more meaningful if you knew that affection came from someone you knew well, but you’d be surprised how irrational some can be when in the heat of romance.
The trouble is it’s seen as un-pc to argue that people with disabilities find it hard to get their leg-over, but I never modify my opinions due to what the Big Man thinks is or isn’t acceptable, so I’ll say it: it is. I’m not saying it’s impossible, nor am I talking about finding long-lasting special loving relationships (my failure in that probably has nothing to do with my disability and more to do with how I see it ok to write blogs like this), but pursuing a casual fling is a lot harder. Someone who can talk clearly, stand stably and walk in a way that doesn’t look like they’ve had fifteen-too-many can normally hang around in a bar until late and find someone looking equally pathetic. However, for a number of quite obvious reasons this simply doesn’t work when you have a disability; I’ve been knocked over [purposely!] by women due to them thinking I was really drunk (I was, but I ALSO have CP!). Therefore where have we got to go?
Although I said it has nothing to do with finding the special stuff, sometimes you need a bit of the cheap stuff to get into the good stuff. A crucial part of being good at flirting is sexual confidence – you need to know that if your efforts to impress this person work far better than anticipated it won’t go arse over tit –unless that’s your bag- when it goes to the bedroom. The only way you will know that is through experience, and you’ll get more from a high-class escort than the semi-responsive drunk that guy has picked up in the sweaty nightclub.
Recently I found myself talking to a young chap also with CP who found himself so horny he couldn’t think straight. He was engaged to marry a woman mainly through his worry that no-one else would have him. He even admitted that they had nothing in common and all they did was fight, he told me this before going back to his default subject of pornography. Although I decided against it I wanted to tell him to book an appointment with an escort just so he could clear his head and think straight. This was the same for me at university, during those years my hormones were very demanding and combining that with the fact that I felt I was missing out on what everyone claimed to be getting all the time I was frustrated and depressed. If I could take back those years and book an appointment with a high-class escort then, I would!!
And afterall, what is the perfect lover? Isn’t it just a ‘best friend’ who you want to –and will let you- share a bed with? Perhaps ten years [in March] of being without a long-term girlfriend has made me jaded but I have a good handful of friends in my life whom I value and love dearly which I consider much more important. And if you, like me, are happy that you just haven’t found that special someone but would like a bit of ‘fun’ surely this is the safest guilt-free way to get it?
So, what am I saying? Unfortunately this is one of those blogs I’ve decided to crack a bottle open in the middle of writing so I don’t entirely know. Just if someone with a disability wants to purchase some high-class fun it might help so don’t discourage the poor crip!