Ted Shiress

Devoted Ponderings

Posted on | March 9, 2016 | 1 Comment

So BBC3 have just put out a quite balanced (for them) documentary of devoteeism – sexual attraction towards disability, as a disabled person who is as chronically underlaid as he makes out on stage do I see a place for it? Well initially it seems fucking weird, trust me this thing is no fun and I struggle to see how someone would get off on it. But then again aren’t most of the things that turn us on bizarre? I find myself insanely appreciative of the organs females use to feed their newborn – EW, how sick is that?! And when put like that it does seem rather dark – yet it appears to be an urge shared by the majority of heterosexual males.

The question is what type of relationship would you consider having with a devotee, the idea of pursuing something meaningful and long-term with a devotee does initially seem somewhat degrading, but hooking up with one for a quick fuck – hell, I would! If there is any objectifying going on it is mutual – she’ll be taking advantage of my abnormalities but I would be doing the same with hers. I occasionally get contacted by this slightly strange yet perfectly polite American girl on OKCupid who is “into disability” and wants to do “webcam stuff” with me, I have always declined but a part of me feels ‘why not?’. Yes some disability activists may argue that she’ll be degrading my disability but some feminists will argue what I’ll be doing will be degrading her femininity.

However we like to say what we desire in a sexual partner, though are we always telling the truth? Dating more than before, I have discovered that a true romantic partner and a well suited friend who happens to have the right sexual organs are two very different things. The times when I have ‘clicked’ on a date there always been some sort of vulnerability on both sides and that has brought us closer than a shared love of blues or comedy. This is surely a milder form of the same thing devotees feel. The issue with devoteeism is it puts it out there from the start that this is attraction towards a vulnerability/disadvantage which seems rather sick, but when you scratch the surface of romantic attraction and connection it’s quite normal – or a highly exaggerated form of what is normal.

But yes, you couldn’t have a meaningful relationship with someone who just likes your disability and I’d advise strongly against trying, but if such attraction can help build a connection or get you a quick fuck – why knock it?!

Comments

One Response to “Devoted Ponderings”

  1. Dani
    March 9th, 2016 @ 10:31 pm

    My friend used to say that if you didn’t have a fetish it was because you hadn’t accepted it yet. I was never actually sure if he was joking or not, since I haven’t discovered mine.

    What sort of alienates me from devotees, and any kind of fetishism in general, is that it seems to be a make-or-break deal. I guess I can’t quite put myself in their shoes. Their attraction is only based on this one characteristic, which in the case of the documentary is disability, but it can equally be substituted for ass/feet/baby wear/balloons. And that can be pretty cool, embracing your sexual desires; I mean, (consensual) fun sex rocks.

    Don’t get me wrong, it’d be nice to have physical, attraction-based sex every once in a while, but when someone zones in on this one single aspect of yourself and magnifies it and then defines you by it, just so they can get off…Idk man. Maybe it’s because I haven’t felt it, but attraction for me, even just physical, works sort of scattered around many different things. If someone’s going to objectify me, I’d like for them to be a little more socialist in their approach and decentralise the lust! Maybe just a lil bit.

    Having said that, I do think that knowing about and breaking the taboo of devoteeism might just lead to people having and engaging in an honest sexual relationship, and I do think that would be better for everyone. We all deserve to get off, amirite?

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